The joke on this page will be about doctors of course.Have fun while reading them!!!
1. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
2. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
3. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
4. The patient refused an autopsy.
5. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
7. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
8. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
9. The patient has no past history of suicides.
10. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
11. Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
12. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
13. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
14. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
15. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
16. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
17. While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
18. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
19. The skin was moist and dry.
20. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
21. She is numb from her toes down.
22. I saw your patient today, who is still under our Car for physical therapy.
23. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Jones, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
24. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
25. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
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